| Hereeee weeeee GO! |
[15 Aug 2009|05:22pm] |
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Soooo i have neglected to update anything about my life on lj, so i'm pasting a blog i just recently wrote on myspace & plopping it here.
SOOOOO MUCH has changed. Good and bad.
The one thing that always seems to stay constant in my life is...school. yay!
Although school seemed to be the thing keeping me sane.. this semester I've decided to take off. Give myself a break and time to collect. I'm going to visit family in canada..work..save money..turn 21 :D whatever the hell comes along. MONEYMONEYMONEY is the fucking devil, btw. Maybe I'll get back into things like.. dance? Photography or painting? Start running& working out a lotttttt like i used to? HMMM..who knows. I just need everything to be sorted about before spring at UCF. I really reallyyyyy do. Shit is getting SERIOUS and my classes are going to kill me. I tend to get mixed up and consumed by problems that really shouldn't have that great of an impact. whatever.
One thing is for sure, I never stop thinking. My mind is always going and going. Thinking about anything and everything.
I got out of the longest ..most serious relationship that I've ever been in. While I know its for the best at this point in my life. Its weird to look at how much having that someone around really affected me. Realizing just the sense of comfort..balance..everything that it gave me..was completely turned around when I didn't have it anymore. It sucks.. I miss it at times..I get lonely..but I'm very much okay. I went through so much with this one..sosososo much. It definitely has its ups and downs but overall i have maintained a good friendship and I'm glad he's still in my life...regardless of the flaws. I learned a lot from this relationship.
Forgiveness and understanding is in my nature. However good or bad that might be.
..whats meant to be will always find a way, right? idk.
I just have given up on putting effort, finally. I don't have it in me anymore. Nor do I think I should. I deserve something too right? It takes time to bust down this wall I have built..but its totally worth it. :) PINKY promise.
I'm no baby..so this isn't me crying over anything. "spilled milk" whatever you call it.
This will probably all just be an after thought someday.
I just know that from here on out..things WILL be different.
I'm so excited for life in general and the things I KNOW i will accomplish.
i'm done venting cause this is already longer than I wanted.
I love my friends more than life, just adding that in there. Idk whatttttt I'd do without them sometimes. Getting me through even the most difficult to the most bizarre of situations. Amazing. MUAH!
I'll have new shit soon, promise.
Also, does anyone care to do my lj layout. its very.......gray hahahaha.
pweez?
<3
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[05 Oct 2008|02:37pm] |
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mood |
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i.dont.care
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| vanilla ice ice baby |
[29 Jul 2008|12:38am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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So yeah, its been a while..
Summer has been pretty good, i got good grades in my classes and i'm proud of that :]
Now that they are over i just want to take these 3 weeks i have off and just relax and try to focus on getting a new job.
eff cheebuger, that place can kissmyass.
Kayla moved up to orlando and i love it :] its so nice living with her!
We haven't done much with our apartment yet, but slowly we will make it look beautifulll. For sure!
I've decided to start working out a lot more again.. not to mention me&kayla are going to start eating better. I'd like to lose a little more weight, not too much!!! I dont want to be a skeleton so dont worry :P I just want to get in better shape. So we will see how that goesss haha
I love all my friends, and i dont know what i would do without them.
I am truly happy living here in Orlando, and im glad this is where i decided to be :)
Well idk what else to say,
re-runs from shark week are on and im tired!
GOODNIGHT<3
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[28 Jan 2008|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Minus the Bear- Monkey!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! |
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I've decided..from now on things will be very different.
the end.
oh and my dog ate my glasses last night..:(
Yup.
seriously, i would have given him food or at least a bone if he was that hungry ~!!!!!
ugh, he makes me mad..but he is so damn cute.
<3
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[15 Jan 2008|01:29am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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Wanting things you cant have sucks.
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| blahblah |
[08 Jan 2008|12:12am] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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music |
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SnoopDogg- Sensual Seduction ;) tehehe |
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Today was the first day of school..it was pretty good. I have to get used to my mondays being so spread out. I'm taking humanities again with the same teacher for the 3rd time. She must love me by now :) College Algebra, Medical Terminology and Chem. I really want to do well this semister. Not to say i did bad before..I just want to be more motivated and get things done ahead of time instead of procrastinating! If you know me well, you know im bad at doing homework until its the day before its due. :P
Besides school, im doing ok. I feel like im slowly yet surely getting my shit together. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i think its doing me some good. After a long talk with my grandparents they made me realize that by me worrying about my brothers and sisters all the time, and letting my mom get to me..all im doing is causing things to be worse. Ive been so on edge, so stressed and its over problems I cant fix. I'm so glad that i go to spend winter break with them, it really did make me happy. I know they will be fine without me there, i just miss them a lot and i cant help but want to always take care of their problems. As evil as my brother chris can be to me sometimes, i feel horrible that hes in such a bad situation. Not just with his health..but with school. He has to make the right decisions for himself now..but ugh..I just want to punch him and make him do the right thing.
My feelings are jumbled..its frustrating.
I need to make some real changes.
I want to be happier, and smile for no reason..
I dont know how, but i want to be the old me..always happy..carefree.
Only time will tell and make things better..i suppose
Maybe i need to do a dance with sherye like old times, i dunno. :)
There ya go livejournal I RANTED. Get.Over.It.
<3
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[26 Dec 2007|11:57am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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After everything I went through last night to see AVP..it pretty much sucked.
GAY.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas though!
New Years is soon, i need to start thinking of my resolutions :)
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| short yet sweet |
[27 Nov 2007|02:22am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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I hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving!
Finals are right around the corner..but then after that..relax time for a few weeks, yay.
Im going to NY on the 13th anddddd im sooo excited. I cant wait to be in the cold :D Im crazy, get over it.
I miss a lot of people...
so lets hang out ! :)
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[09 Oct 2007|04:03am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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foo fighters- everlong |
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T-minus 4 days till my birthday
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[29 Sep 2007|10:44am] |
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confused
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| So heres my day for you. |
[28 Aug 2007|03:23am] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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So today started out pretty good, i woke up early and went to the gym..
then ran some erronds..
then had my first 2 classes ( chemistry and college alg.)..
which i think went pretty well. My alg teacher seems like a cool guy.
Not so good news though today about my brother chris..
he had to be taken to the doctors because of his recent dramatic weight loss..
from the time i saw him a month and 1/2 ago till a few weeks ago..he has lost about 30 or more pounds. Hes around 5'11 maybe even taller..and now weighs about 100 pounds.
It scared me so i got on my mom about it ( cause shes a little slow..ya)..and anyways..
after going to the doctors today he finds out that he might be diabetic..
Hes taken to the hospital and what do you know? His blood sugar level was in or above the 600's. So now hes in the ICU and they are trying to stabilise him.
My brother and I have been through a lot in the past few years, but its him that i worry about the most. Hes been having trouble with school, and now his health is bad. I just really wish sometimes that i could do more for him, and at times i really think that its my responsibility. I just wish my mom was more responsible, because now since me and him dont have health insurance..can you imagine how much the hospital bill will be?
Sometimes, I just wish i could understand her. err.
Bleh, that totally changed my day around..
I guess right now is a stressful time for everyone though..with starting classes and what not.
I just hate having to worry so much about money lately since fucking financial aid ripped me off.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - thats how i feel.
Tomorrow i hope will be better..
I have my microbiology class at 8:30 am. GAY! and then an employee meeting at cheeburger. GAY!
Last but not least, my humanities class at 2:30. GAY!
yup thats it.
Bed time !
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[12 Jul 2007|12:21am] |
from this^
to this^
tehehehe i love himm
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| SHITSHITSHIT |
[11 Jul 2007|10:58am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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today sucks.
Last night i went to see Harry Potter and it was amazing, there is so much more action in this one. Only downside was i had a test this morning at 8 and didn't get home till almost 3. What makes this a bad day is that I didnt get up for whatever reason for my test.. and now im freaking out..
ive been slacking in this class bc its BS. but now im scared its going to bite me in the ass..
luckily i can take the final and it will replace my lowest test grade but i still feel like shit..
ahhhhhh!
so yea besides that i might be coming home on sunday or sat. night for my brothers party..maybe ill get a chance to see some other people but who knows.. i wont make promises this trip! i also might be coming down the end of the month for another birthday so i plan on seeing a lot more people then.
so ya, thats all for now.
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| hmm |
[05 Jul 2007|09:22pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
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OH WHY DID I TAKE SUMMER CLASSES :(
i just want a break dammit!
how's everyone doing? :)
i might be possibly coming to south florida for the weekend soon, MAYYYBE. ;)
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[09 Apr 2007|02:51am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Happy late Easter everyone!
I hope it was a good one.
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| :) |
[29 Mar 2007|10:29am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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TV |
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My puppy, Little Bear aka. LB
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| You Could Be Happy :) |
[18 Mar 2007|03:31am] |
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silent screaming blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
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katyexbo0's journal
